Dog


Words & Music: Jake Thackray

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I'm just a dog. I get a lot of fun,
There's an awful lot of fun in the fun-ctioning of human love.
I'm just a hound, but I have been around.
Madam, I have found, I've always found a jest
In the gestures of romance.

There was a lady once who fell in love and taught her doggy
Of the high romance with which her life was now infused.
He was faintly puzzled, for he found her notions foggy;
It must've been the language that the lady used.

I'm just a dog. I wonder what the heck,
Well really, what the heck - this hecstasy of human love.
I'm just a brute, I couldn't care a hoot.
Madam I'm a dog and I see through the mist
The mysteries of romance.

You must confess it's messy and a bit unnecessary
The preliminary etiquette would bore me stiff.
I'm inclined to find the ceremony rather phoney:
Courtship between dogs consists in one swift sniff.

I'm just a dog and I dislike the cant.
Why is there so much cant in these canticles of human love?
I'm just a brute. I couldn't care a hoot.
Madam, I'm a dog and I don't get the mess,
The message of romance.

While you're contemplating it, awaiting it and hating it
And overcomplicating it, it's bound to pall.
Dogs see much less in it, they get cracking and begin it.
It's a matter of a minute and then up tails all.

I'm just a dog and I dislike the con.
Why is there so much con in this constancy of human love?
I'm just a brute. I couldn't care a hoot.
Madam,I'm a dog and I don't like the lie,
The lifetime of romance.

She was marvellous, was Isabel, and it was thrilling
When I met her in the corporation park one day.
So without a fuss we had a smell and she was willing
And so there and then I put her in the family way.

I'm just a dog and I prefer the sin,
By far the biggest sin, the cynical approach to love.
I'm just a hound, but I have been around.
Madam I have found, I've always found a dog
In the dogmas of romance.

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